My chemical cookie.

While trying to recover from my accident I started to notice the chemicals in the foods were affecting my inflammation and mobility but the thing I notice last was simply the most shocking revelation. For years I had suffered from over eating, binge eating which eventually lead to major eating disorders. I have done so much emotional work to get to the root of my problems and tendencies. I did the emotional work for the eating disorders not only for my own well being but in my mind there is no way, should I have children that my child should ever suffer from disordered eating because of me. Emotionally I'm very in tune. I handle myself very well and understand my emotional triggers. I work daily on areas I think I could handle better and am really conscious about everything. Then low and behold I've stumbled on what I believe is at the root of the problem. CHEMICALS. 

When I eat whole natural foods without any chemicals, I have no real food cravings, I am satisfied and emotionally sound.  

Recently I went on a cruise and wrote to them to have my dietary and nutritional needs met. They delivered chemical free natural organic fruit and cold pressed juices to my room every morning. Leafy greens, beans and veggies at my beacon call. At any restaurant I went to on the ship they delivered handmade vegan pasta and fresh steamed veggies for my dinner. I did go to a chefs tasting and had no problem because everything was made fresh and organic plus they told you what was in everything so I could make an educated decision and they didn't use chemicals to enhance the flavors of the foods or to preserve them. 

After the tasting since I didn't have an adverse reaction two days later I decided I wanted a big chocolate chip cookie. I'm on vacation, I can live a little. Normally my treats come from a my kitchen or a responsible vender I trust. This was just your run of the mill cruise ship pastry stop with "store bought" type treats. I got my cookie and was cruising around on my scooter eating it. Within a minute of the first bite thoughts of needing 500 more cookies started to form and then I start listing all the amazing deserts at the buffet and start thinking since I already had this one cookie I need to eat the ship. I have not had these thoughts in almost 2 years. It was like mind control and I was helpless. I found myself at the buffet ready to eat everything in site BUT I didn't. I recognized this wasn't me. What was it that made this fitness enthusiast, non munchie eating medical marijuana patient and seemingly controlled holistic nutritionist to loose her mind and want to binge and purge. 

There seems to be only one explanation, it has to be the way that my brain reacts to the chemicals in the cookie. 

I've been doing a lot of research and I'm not at the point where I can firmly pinpoint the Chemical but many of my findings have produced evidence that "natural flavors" which are listed as such in the ingredients is actually biochemically engineered from human embryo cells to make the brain have a chemical reaction to increase the flavor of what you're eating. 

I'm doing some research and once I can be certain I will share. But this is what I got so far. 

My food delivery each morning on the cruise....