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Monday, December 28, 2015

Holistic Cold Remedy

This is how to use food and natural sources to combat a sinus and chest cold with a fever. I do and consume the following:



130 or more ounces organic fresh squeezed orange juice (yes, you'll be going to the bathroom a lot, both ends!) 

1 pomelo grapefruit

64 oz of water steeped with - ginger, eucalyptus, fennel, pepper, holy basil, oregano oil, hibiscus, turmeric, cinnamon, honey and I add a cannabis simple syrup - (you can use pre made tea bags of these spices to make it easy)



Green Juice- pineapple, mango, spinach, kale and coconut water 

Green Juice - Apple, celery, collared greens, cucumber, spinach, lemon, ginger

Probiotics - lemon cayenne from Kavita

Water - 32 - 64 ounces

2-3 bathroom steams for at least 20 minutes with a towel around your neck and eucalyptus oil on your chest and under your nose... It's important not to let yourself get cold after you steam so get dressed sweaty so that you continue to sweat. 

I only eat one meal a day with this (not usually hungry) and it's a very spicy coconut curry with eggplant, zucchini, potatoes, green beans, lotus seeds, hemp seeds, tofu and brown rice and nothing but water for the rest of the night after I eat. 

Can't lie. Added a little tequila to a few glasses of oj at the beginning. 

I also tried a saline version of afrin for a little help that my friend suggested and it worked to help. 

I also rest and sleep. 

I do this every day until poof it's gone.










(This is an original home remedy written by AmyMichelle6 and all rights and claims are held herein.

Please speak with a medical doctor prior to using alternative medicines 

Should fever persist for more than 3 days or raise higher that 102 degrees please seek emergency medical attention. 

The advise given in this post in based on personal experience, alternative medicine schooling and in no way is it a claim to be given to the detriment of another's well being. 

Please use your judgement) 

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Healthy isn't a quick fix... its a lifestyle.



They don't teach nutrition in medical school, we're taunted with images of unattainable lifestyle and body ideals, we just take a pill for everything, they serve processed foods to hospital patients and we wonder why everyone has a dis-ease that we're paying and fighting for a cure.... 

Um, just found the cure for you...  Eliminate the cause. Same thing with guns. It's not the guns, it the mental health epidemic we're ignoring.  In our attempt to avoid actually having to feel, make efforts and be real and deal.... We're dehumanizing life to auto pilot. I'd rather really live, feel, suffer, overcome and survive.  #commonsense 



When a 3000 pound Vehicle hits your bare body and you have to fight with doctors to believe you that something is terribly wrong for over a year, have 3hr reconstructive hip surgery twice in one year then you have to re-learn how to walk twice, it really opens your eyes to how negatively societies ideals of a beautiful body and a quick fix ruin our minds and destroy our health. 

How could I hate something and mistreat something so much and not give the energy or effort to properly take care of the only thing that truly loves me, protects me from the world and makes me alive. Our body and minds are all we truly have in this life.  With a little effort towards your health there is nothing in this world that should make any person look at their body and not think it's beautiful or worth the effort to take care of properly.  Your body is life and life is beautiful! Feed your body whole unprocessed (chemical free) foods, do physical activities, listen to how you feel and have fun in moderation!  But most of all love your bodies already because what it looks like and how it feels is really only of value to you not society! There is no value in a picture perfect body if it's not living in good health and has nothing of intelligence and good morals in the head on its shoulders which is what really counts! And that's what I've learned about life.  Health is afforded to those who work for it and those easy fixes catch up to you. 

Here's some of the tools I use instead of taking the pills I'm pushed by every doctor including my own father. I want to heal and figure out how to overcome my disabilities not mask them. It's a painful reality but I have heightened senses and I really feel life. The good, the bad and the painful but with a smile because I'm really living the best way I know how and trying my hardest at everything. Knowing that makes feel warm at my core and delighted in my heart, in spite of it all! 




Friday, November 20, 2015

America

I am an american. I was born in california.  I was educated by curriculum approved by America.  I'm given foods that are deemed healthy to consume by America.  I'm taught basic civil rights, morals and ethics by the standards of America.  I'm told who are my allies and what countries are good by America.  I'm given a right to vote on things that are allowed to be voted on by America.  Everything in my life has been influenced by America.  The land of the free and home of the brave. I root for my country in the olympics and like many American Made people blindly thought my government, America, cared about me and everything I was taught had to be correct, It's America and I am an American but I am not a sheep. 

I have friends and acquaintances in other countries who share the anti American propaganda that is spread through out the world. Then I watch videos like the one I'm going to link below and my mind continues to be blown and my heart breaks for the love of my country. 

I recommend you watch this video. It very informative about Americas international affairs and war. It explains how Isis came to exist. 

 http://anonhq.com/someone-finally-explained-how-isis-was-created-and-it-will-make-you-question-everything/


These are a few things that make me question everything I was ever taught by america: 

How was Aspartame declared a poison by the FDA, then after a miraculous study Searle paid to have done by Monsanto, it became legal?  Why does our government allow us to continue to eat it.  It's like 100% poisonous and in almost everything you eat.  It's a fact it causes tumors.  Cancer is one of America's biggest earners.  Why aren't they removing anything from our food that is known to cause illness but instead creating industry on the illnesses.  Money.

Why did we sell arms to Iraq and train ISIS?  Why did we leave American War Weapons in Afghanistan for anyone to take after we ended the war.  Why do we always step in to aid other countries.  We tear down their country's infrastructure and can't rebuild their government because it always ends up being corrupt.  Probably because they don't have Americans slaving to support that government,  because America destroyed most of their marketplaces.  Money

The more I learn about the international affairs of America, the more I understand why when I travel abroad, I'm judged as an elitist american.  We are judged by the actions of our government which if you truly study our behavior on books other than American recounts of war and history, you'll realize we do come from our roots.  Christopher Columbus should be celebrated because he did what America does and clearly stands for.  We see opportunity to capitalize and we go, conquer and take.   All of the terrorist situations that we find ourselves in can not be blamed on just one political party but the entire government. 

The more I learn the more I've realized that the parties were created to make the common folk living the American Dream, have a divide. We now judge people based on their political party affiliation and nothing else. I know people who won't hesitant to reduce someone to nothing on the fact they're a republican or a democrat.  What people seem to forget is that we are all American and the divide of political parties and hate is creating the perfect distraction so both parties can do whatever they want from up there while we are hating each other, as we work our asses off to support complete political corruption. It's not one party it's the entire government and its systems. The greed in politics and false hopes given to the American people by leaders who don't care because they're actually living the American Dream with salaries and other gifts that we the people work hard to provide them. 
So, when we hate each other over the  political parties in my mind it's like they're both the same exact thing and neither of them have anyone in office who cares about the American people beyond their own pockets and desired aquilades. 
Your political opinions and involvement needs to start at the local level because that's the only politics worth discussing because it's the only place your opinion will matter to eventually see the changes in federal government we need. 
I haven't really figured it all out with regards to how to change the corruption of the American government and international affairs but I do know that if we can love each other instead of letting the words democrat and republican define us and start binding together maybe just maybe we can bask in the glow of our pride of just being Americans... United we can stand, as one nation. Under the sun!  You know cause the sun creates sunshine and love not hate and war! Peace! 





Family. Holidays.

Growing up I dreamed of a closeness to family and had a belief in loyalty to those I was related to. As a child I had a very hard time understanding the dynamics of my family and the way that my family members behaved towards each other. Everyone spoke so horribly about everyone behind their backs and then face to face it was like nothing was said. My aunt would scream at my mom and kick us out of her house. She would say things to me as a young child based on her jealously of my mother. Almost begrudging, me, a little girl of the luxuries she was afforded by being born to the right parents. Her husband didn't work as hard as my dad, I thought as a kid so what's her problem? Work harder then.   

My moms parents had 5 grandchildren and they favored the other 4. To my grandmother I was the fat granddaughter she continually needed to remind.  My aunt turned my grandparents against my mom by saying she flaunted her lifestyle in her face and she needed them more So, they rarely stayed at our house when they would come to LA for the summer . My other grandma was so cheap that she resented my parents wealth and felt entitled. I never had a grandparent come for grandparents day. I always had the negative things being said behind everyone's back in my head. I had a room next to my parents office growing up so I really heard all sides of the stories.  It's hard to bond with people who are so fake to each other. I tried to be a good cousin to all my cousins and brothers but none of them know what loyalty or thoughtfulness means. They do know what gossip is and they all took the first chance they could to bash me to each other and to others.  This is not how family behaves. At 13 I discovered playing sick and would try to be sick  around the time of any family function.  Especially those at my aunts house, where not only the food was gross but so was the environment. This weird fakeness and underlying tone of distain and jealousy was overwhelming. 

It took many years of silence of family secrets and bullshit until one Passover. The Passover that finally set me free. I had just walked in after braving the 101 traffic for 2 hours from work and stopping to pick up stuff for my mom. My hands were over full trying to carry everything in with one trip and before I could put anything down my bitter aunt says in her awful NY judging voice, "you could say hello to us like a mensch?"  (Mensch is a Yiddish word for good person) This coming from a lady who is hiding that she ever had a first marriage and told me to email her daughters as a good older cousin, to no response from either girl. So here she is implying I'm not a good person because I wanted to put my stuff down without saying hi first and take a minute to do so. "I responded with, oh like your daughters who can't answer an email?"  Her response was "well maybe there's a good reason people don't write you back, Amy!"

What!?  That was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. 23 years of this horrible, purposefully jabbing, hateful, jealous person who was always the victim. She knows everything and is perfect. Well, I told her off via email and included how if she was so perfect then why never mention her divorce to anyone and hide it. I let her know what everyone thought but nobody would say to her face and cc'd my entire family. Enough was enough and I have never put myself in a position to be abused by her or anyone in her terrible family again. 

Life is about happiness and the people who bring love to your life. Who build you up and are happy for you no matter what. I didn't find that with my natural blood relatives, including my brothers. It's how my family is at its core that I've struggled to understand since childhood. I love my parents, have a wonderful connection to my uncle and have a few distant cousins I love but that's where it ends for me with my blood family. And it's perfectly ok. 

I spend my holidays not in forced situations with people I have no connection with or love for but with people who are my family. Every occasion has been filled with love and joy since the day I took a stand and said fuck off, I'll be spending my holidays with people who really want to be my family because we treat each other like family should. Choose happiness over unnecessary obligation and be really thankful for your real family!

There's a reason these are my most used words on Facebook.... I've made it this way! 
  

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Slamming Cait Jenner for receiving women's awards.

So we're comparing struggles for validation now. We are individuals living our lives, no ones struggles are more important than the next. Just different. Embrace diversity and award courage without a gender, sexual orientation or race; For we are all just human. Hate creates hate and love creates change. Be love.  

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Traveling in recovery

It's 4 am and my legs are twitching. I just got back from a trip to be a bridesmaid in my friends wedding.  Going to Denver I knew I was going to swell when I got there. Immediately when I landed I get Epsom salt so I can soak and try to reduce the swelling. I also bring compression stalkings and neoprene compression thigh wraps. The reason my legs are spasming is because they're definitely not use to walking unassisted for far lengths. Going there I used the wheelchair assistance to save myself a little bit of added stress on my hip. I kept my diet as normal as possible through the first day up until the evening of the wedding and was back on my game the next morning.  You have to live a little and eat, drink, be merry and celebrate! That cake though. Processed sugar. Yum. Sugar wasted.  Anyways. 
   In order to succeed at holistic nutrition, you must start thinking ahead. Holistic nutrition is the principle that food is your medicine. It's preventative medicine and purposed medicine.  To prepare myself to travel I add a little extra vitamin d supplement for added tendon support. I'm still healing.  I eat a lot more pineapple to try to keep my swelling down even more. I also drink an anti inflammatory green juice of cucumber, celery, spinach, pineapple, ginger, lemon and cayenne pepper. It's also very important to do all your stretches and physical therapy even on your own and to ice and soak after. The more diligent you are the better it is for your recovery. 
This trip I had an early flight so I was in bed by 8 pm and up by 4 am to work out. Knowing you're going to be sitting or standing for long periods of time means it's even more important to get in your work out.
I then pump up the amount of turmeric in my morning latte (cold brewed coffee, hot water, turmeric, cinnamon, honey) and I also add two turmeric capsules and already have some packed to bring with me. I had palmetto (citrus) for breakfast to boost my immunity from all the germs I'm about to encounter at the airport. Knowing I'll be hungry again before my flight, I bring with me a meal and a snack. The worst is being hungry with no options at the airport. At least no options that will contribute to my optimum health.   The one thing I've learned through my recovery is; it never hurts to ask. At the hotel they had a fruit buffet. They only had a little pineapple out. I need a lot. So I asked if there was any way I could get a plate of pineapple. I briefly cover its for my swelling and with a smile she returns with a huge plate. So instead of just settling for the unhealthy, if you ask for your health you'll receive. 
Although it may seem time consuming to do everything this way. I can assure you the end results are much better than if you take pills to mask your symptoms. Our goal is to heal and sadly you have to feel to achieve that. 
After traveling and enjoying a night of naughty food, instead of going straight back to my normal nutrition I feel the need to cleanse and boost my metabolism. The processed foods and the sodium feels like it halts my system because plain and simple. It does. I have a notion, a theory for nutrition I'm trying to work out. My instinct nutritionally is to go really high protein for a few days and then switch to intermittent fasting. Where you have 5 juices with a handful of something, (nuts, coconut shreds), in a day and one big meal, high protein/low carb (protein/veggies) at 4pm.  After a few days you go back to the normal fruit and raw til 4 and high carbs low fat or high protein low carb for dinner. The notion of using fad diet principles but for short courses to reboot reset and relieve your symptoms after you travel, splurge or in preparation for life events. Every time I travel, I try to fine tune this on my return. I'll report back. As of right now, my right hip has very minimal swelling while my left hip has increased swelling. I'm very stiff and spasms are a plenty but I don't feel sluggish. I think I'm on to something. Guess it's time for a soak. 

Breakfast buffet choices of champions. 

And that concludes your 4am nutrition ramble. 

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

"Eat Well Live Well: Transitioning to an Unprocessed Lifestyle" by Amy Michelle is available on Amazon for Kindle and Itunes!


Through my experiences in life I have found the path with my nutrition that is leading me to create a lifestyle that I can "live" with.  My journey is not complete and I have a long way to go but I know I'm headed in the right direction:

A note from the Author: 

"After succeeding to achieve my “dream body” by having every eating disorder, going from fad diet to fad diet, “clean eating" and over training, it wasn't until I was struck by a car while riding my bike, that my real nutrition journey began. The physical disabilities and internal affects of the accident left me unable to rely on my old habits and tricks of the fitness world. As I slowly learned the affects that the foods I was eating and drinking had on my mobility, inflammation, mental well being and all around general health, I started to really learn how to eat to feed my body for optimum health. Once I learned how to eat properly, my body started to reshape itself and I could no longer deny what I already knew, everything I ever learned about fitness, nutrition and health was not correct. This lifestyle will teach you how to eat and feed your body so that 80% of your food is for your health and 20% is to fully enjoy all the pleasures this world has for your palette, guilt free. By learning how to eat instead of following a rigid “diet” , we take control over our decisions and put our health back into our own hands, without any excuses except you want to live a long and healthy life. You can’t control everything around you but you can control what you eat, your health and your lifestyle!” 

Amy Michelle 
Live Well ~ Love Much~Laugh Often



The book is available at the links below

AMAZON:

http://www.amazon.com/Eat-Well-Live-Transitioning-Unprocessed-ebook/dp/B014X8T3OS

iTunes:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/eat-well-live-well/id1061149786?ls=1&mt=11




Saturday, November 7, 2015

Mental Health

Since the day of my accident I have not felt comfortable in my own skin and I don't mean that in a self esteem body issue type way. I mean my body hurts always and I can't ever just sit still and be. I have nerves that are dead and some that are overworking. Nerves healing, bones healing and crazy other connectivity issues. Part of it was because I saw the car coming down on me in the split second before she hit me so my body tensed. I constantly have to move around because the stillness just isn't possible. The symptoms are always there. My hands are numb and my feet are always freezing and my spine feels like a metal rod that's just constantly throbbing. Through all of this there have been times that I've wanted to end it. The thought of living like this forever which, reality is saying it's so, could drive someone into the depths of mental hell. 
This is one of the main reasons why I won't give in to taking all the pills they push on me and why I continue to work out in any way that supports my capabilities and disabilities. I eat to support not only my physical health but my mental health. 
 I've had two episodes where I went into a two day whoa is me desperation and wouldn't leave the couch. My parents couldn't recognize their daughter nor feel her pain but I saw theirs. The anguish in seeing their daughter in so much pain that life didn't serve purpose, this fight seemed never ending. 
It was the look in their eyes that fueled me to dig deeper within myself to see that I knew I controlled my happiness and I was letting the pain win. 
As I lay her today typing this my hands are numb, my left foot is burning, hip is in spasm and my neck is just, we won't go there but, I'm the happiest I've ever been mentally. In spite of it all. 
I've shed all the toxic family and people who don't add joy to my life.  I try my hardest to look at the positive in every situation and have created a perspective that produces happiness. As each thing comes my way, I have an understanding of the importance of the little things and I appreciate the small victories in life with an elevated sense of gratitude. In essence I turned my frown upside down and researched ways I could change my brain. I didn't want to depend on a pill to just make me "feel" better. I wanted to be better and make the changes I needed that would stay with me. If I have to walk with a crutch I certainly wasn't going to use one for my mental health. I want off crutches in every sense of the word so that I can be free and evolve as a person beyond my wildest dreams.  The world is a place bigger then our own minds and if we don't expand our own minds we won't evolve as a race. 
I'm proud to talk about my mental issues because we all have them and we could definetly use a fresh breath of honesty with our shortcomings so we get better  instead of delusions of grandeur.
  A little moment of love goes a long way. Find love and happiness in everything you do. It's there if you're looking for it. 

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

You have to try Kiwi Berries

Not only are these little gems delicious but here's why they are so nutritious. 

  • Like other “superfood” berries, kiwi berries have an unusually high level of antioxidants that protect your body from toxins and oxidation that can lead to cancer and other serious diseases.
  • With about five times as much vitamin C as your average orange, kiwi berries provide an immune system boost. Vitamin C is also considered a powerful antioxidant.
  • Kiwi berries are a rich source of vitamin E, which helps maintain healthy levels of cholesterol and heart health. The plus side is, you can get as much vitamin E from a just a few low-calorie kiwi berries as you can from an entire avocado.
  • Along with spinach, kiwi berries are one of the rare vegetables rich in Vitamin B6, which helps your body create and use energy.
  • Other nutrients in kiwi berries include folic acid, fiber, potassium and chromium, making them a good food to help maintain regular digestion, energy production, nervous system function and kidney health.
Yum! 



Friday, October 30, 2015

Sense of humor, where fore art thou!?

I feel like I've lost my sense of humor, kind of.  Well only with other people. I find myself unhappy when I have to deal with others but joyful happy go lucky alone. It's hard to be silly around people who do things that just aren't funny. I also use to indulge in making fun of others and now that I've expanded my mind with becoming more aware, that isn't really a source of humor anymore. I feel it's small minded. How easy is it to point out an overweight girl in booty shorts, it's her prerogative and the guy with the fungus feet, I just feel bad that nobody tells him or makes him watch a network sponsored by Lamisil. Those ads are everywhere.

I use to think that having a lot of friends meant that I was a like able person and it would validate me. No matter what, I could always rely on the fact that I had a lot of friends but the fact is I couldn't rely on my friends.  At least not like I thought you should be able to. You see I was born with the gift of empathy so I take everyone into consideration. I love making people feel special and I am the person that makes it happen. Horses delivered at midnight to a beach side wedding on a whim, it's done.  I can't be at a birthday in another state so I sent 10 orders of guacamole in my place. All of these things just to make others laugh. I reveled in it but somewhere along the line the lack of appreciation wore me down. I started to realized I wanted to do the things I was doing but just not for the ones I was doing it for.  Always bending over backwards for others and in any time of need always standing strong alone. Eventually feeling alone with hundreds of "friends",  I started to just pick these people apart. All of my friendships were one sided. I learned that friends I had for life were more interested in making money off of me, asking for unlimited favors or just looking for something to use as gossip.  So, I just stopped. I stopped just giving and started thinking of myself and what made me happy. The response was overwhelmingly negative. If I didn't find joy in something I wouldn't go and that's when I really started living my life. Only being around the people who really loved me not just the "things" that you get from having me in your life and those that were thoughtful.  This wasn't excluded from family. I have no obligations to anyone but me and if you're not adding joy to my life, then you're not going to be in it. Period. The go to girl for others was no more and neither was the fake love. I suddenly saw everyone for who they really are and I stopped laughing with them at my own expense.  I offer my kindness to strangers in brief exchanges of joy anywhere that I go so that I can have my humor back. 

I'm very funny, always silly laughing and hilarious situations always seem to find me. I'm happy within myself and it doesn't take me putting down others for me to find humor in life. So, if I'm jumping down your throat and not showering you with humor and kindness it's because I think you're the joke and how you behave or treat others isn't so funny. 

My favorite comedians are the ones that make you think, like George Carlin because when you really think about our world, economics, government, politics and life as we know it, it's so ridiculous, it should be the butt of our jokes because our mindless vanity inspired gossip hungry make fun of other people humor is contributing to the decline of humanity and that's not so funny. To me at least. These are some quotes I think are funny... 







Wednesday, October 28, 2015

A moment in time.

       Me and Louie at Physical Therapy

Yesterday at physical therapy I had notice this woman. She looked like a deer in the headlights the entire time the therapist was working on her. I sensed something off in her energy.  As we were leaving my instinct blurted out. 

"You're seeing the best in the business"

"I am?" She asked as her eyes lit up! 

"I drive 50 miles round trip from Sherman Oaks to come here, whom ever referred you, really cares about you" I said

She continued to tell me that she had back surgery and had crazy symptoms and now has vertigo but the vertigo pill gave her every symptom. She couldn't believe that she was having random swelling all over her body. One morning she is fine the next her ankles are so swollen and painful. She had no idea surgery would have this affect on her. There is no way she could have. 

My first hip surgery, the recovery was a breeze with regards to me walking but not so much the second time. It's always different, every time and for every one.  

As her eyes began to well up, I said "you're not alone, I have crazy symptoms too and I feel crazy half the time having to tell them what's going on"

She too knows what it's like to have to keep moving because once you stop the pain sets in and that's all you can feel, hear or think. Pain. It's hard, especially at night. 

I told her how I don't take any pain meds and she was in shock. She said she couldn't imagine living through this without them. 

I suggested Marijuana and it was like I was talking to a wall. She's uneducated about it and lived through Nancy Reagan's say not to drugs. I'm use to this. I softly gave her multiple holistic nutrition suggestions and described some of the different ways she could utilize marijuana. I got her wheels spinning. That's the goal. Provoking positive thought to solve our health issues as natural as possible. 

I told her to read my blog because I've written many a post on the craziness of recovering from major surgery.  (If you're reading this, Hi, I hope you slept well last night) 

She thanked me and walked away without the energy, fear, she was carrying before. 

This moment is what life is about to me. Being human, helping and caring about someone you don't even know because this moment in time can make a difference in their life. It made my day. 

Monday, October 26, 2015

"Eat Well Live Well: Transitioning to an Unprocessed Lifestyle" Available on Amazon


Through my experiences in life I have found the path with my nutrition that is leading me to create a lifestyle that I can "live" with.  My journey is not complete and I have a long way to go but I know I'm headed in the right direction:

A note from the Author: 

"After succeeding to achieve my “dream body” by having every eating disorder, going from fad diet to fad diet, “clean eating" and over training, it wasn't until I was struck by a car while riding my bike, that my real nutrition journey began. The physical disabilities and internal affects of the accident left me unable to rely on my old habits and tricks of the fitness world. As I slowly learned the affects that the foods I was eating and drinking had on my mobility, inflammation, mental well being and all around general health, I started to really learn how to eat to feed my body for optimum health. Once I learned how to eat properly, my body started to reshape itself and I could no longer deny what I already knew, everything I ever learned about fitness, nutrition and health was not correct. This lifestyle will teach you how to eat and feed your body so that 80% of your food is for your health and 20% is to fully enjoy all the pleasures this world has for your palette, guilt free. By learning how to eat instead of following a rigid “diet” , we take control over our decisions and put our health back into our own hands, without any excuses except you want to live a long and healthy life. You can’t control everything around you but you can control what you eat, your health and your lifestyle!” 

Amy Michelle 
Live Well ~ Love Much~Laugh Often



The book is available at the link below

http://www.amazon.com/Eat-Well-Live-Transitioning-Unprocessed-ebook/dp/B014X8T3OS


Human DNA in Hot Dogs is the least of your unknown cannibalism....


Here's an article causing horror in people who eat hot dogs! They found human DNA in them. 


Where I'm at: 

While doing some ingredient label research, I found out that "natural flavors" / flavor enhancers are typically made from human cells. 

These are the patents for some of the natural flavors you eat.....


 I'm still researching but I'm starting to believe the reason why you can't eat just one chip is because of the chemical reaction in your brain to those natural flavors which may also contribute to continual poor food choices which could probably be causing obesity and permanent disordered eating habits, especially in children.  It's mind control. Through your food.  This article doesn't surprise me. Your FDA thinks it's ok to let you eat a lot of things you wouldn't if you educated yourself. The more you know. 


Riding around Costco reading labels eating sulfur free dried mango 

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Time.




I have an issue with time and my time being respected. I personally run about 7-14 minutes late. I'm serious. Then when I became physically disabled that time increased and really became something I had to pay attention to. 

It takes me longer to get dressed, walk down the stairs, get into the car, and I'm just fucked if I forget something upstairs. I might as well not go at all, I'll be so late. Even though mentally I still think like the girl who can just sprint from the end of the parking lot to cut time to get there, I am not her at the moment. Keep in mind my natural tendency is to use my time for all its worth. I always have something to do. Hence the 7-14 minute tardiness margin. On the line of being respectful of people's time and still squeezing every second out of my time. 

At first with having the physical disabilities, time was really hard to manage. I'm not realistic at all with my abilities. Giving myself the time I need to get to places and working with my natural tendencies became my focus. I couldn't move faster but I did figured out how to use my time better and plan ahead. I couldn't handle seeing the affects that my tardiness has on other people. I had to just admit that a quick trip to the market is always a 45 minute ordeal for the moment. It's made me realize how much my old time habits may have ruined other people's days.  My perspective of time on all accounts is completely different. I've realized it's our most prized possession.  

I still struggle from time to time with getting to places on time and it truly affects me when I am late but I know I'm trying my best, considering it all. 

It also affects me when others change the plans.  I have to plan out my days so that I take care of my recovery and make sure I have time.  If I don't I won't get better and I wouldn't have time for any joy in life.   I think that's why when people don't respect my time it hurts my feelings because I don't think they realize I have to put in 3 times the effort and really plan out my time to make sure our plans work out.  The constant lack of respect for my time is really driving me to be less social because usually it's not worth my time.  I figure I could have been doing something productive towards my health instead. 

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Facebook commenting. Screen grabs.

I often comment on Facebook articles. Sometimes I'm really well spoken and sometimes not. 

Today there was an article about the top 10 issues a sex marriage councilor sees. I have the solution to all the issues.  Check it out. 


 
Yesterday there was a horrid article written by a new mother directed at people who don't have children who should be more understanding to how miserable she is since having kids. Here's my reaction: 


In a country like America where the slogan is land of the free, apparently everyone has forgot it includes their minds. Be Free from social stigma so you can be happy. 

Friday, October 16, 2015

Our country makes me sad.

This picture destroys me. It's the state of our union. We, Americans, are the victims of our own government and capitalism. Freedom has a fee. Keeping us fat (processed foods, chemicals, meat industry, dairy industry, marketing, advertising) , sick (pharmaceutical industry, Insurance industry, cancer, obesity, heart disease, nuclear testing) and lazy (fitness industry, fast foods, food delivery, super size culture, technology) Read your labels and be an educated person. It's not about political parties it's about being human and being treated as someone whose life matters not just a
pawn in a moneymaking scheme. There is no money in cures and that's just one of our biggest problem. Luckily we don't need a cure for most of the problems, we just need to stand up against the cause. 

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

16 years ago I was addicted to Meth.

When I was 14 years old, I had just started school at a prestigious Catholic College Prep. I was actually sought after by their music department because of how gifted I am at saxophone. The summer before school started, I spent at fat camp instead of band camp. I went from 207 lbs down to 185 lbs and was feeling great about myself until I got to school. I wanted to play basketball but my self esteem had taken a turn for the worse with my new weightloss. I was too intimidated by the height of the other girls and their level of physical fitness so I stuck to the band and drama even though I loved sports more.  The pressures to continue to lose weight were all around me. School, advertisements, the media, the trends and my family.  I was doing everything I knew how to do but it was so slow. 
At this point in my life, I was anti smoking and had only gotten a little tipsy off of whiskey, once.  A girl whom I had become friends with confided in me one day, when I complained about always watching what I eat. She said that an upper classman introduced her to this stuff called Crystal and it made things a lot easier. She continued to tell me that in her 2 weeks of using it she could get all her school work done, had a ton of energy and was barely ever hungry. She had lost 12 pounds as well.  There it was the solution to everything I had ever struggled with and in an instant, I wanted to try it. She linked me up with this chick who her friend got it from. We met in a secluded bathroom at school and I bought $20 worth. She cut up two lines and she went first. It was then my turn. I did it. I was hooked. 
I'm not joking. I loved it. I had endless energy, was barely hungry, loosing weight like rabid fire. It was incredible. I spent five years doing it and had many a great adventure but also put myself in situations like eventually getting kicked out of my house because of it, living on the streets and nearly lost my life.  I went to rehab at 19 after an incident at the motel I was living at shook me to my core. I went to a government funded rehab through the system and it worked . It worked because I wanted it to and I didn't take my chance for granted. My parents didn't make it easy for me and I had to go through social services and work very hard to fix every mess I made along the way. My councilor at rehab looked at me after our first meeting and said, "you don't have a drug problem my dear, you have an eating disorder" Throughout my rehab she wouldn't let me dance with my problems, she gave me the tools to solve them. She wouldn't let me become addicted to rehab and told me to look around any room I sat in at rehab and decide whose future looked good and the answer was, nobody. She said to ask myself if I wanted to spend my life fighting to get out of rehab or if I wanted to end the fight and move on with my life.  10 days after I graduated from rehab, at 19 years old, weighing 224lbs and full of life, I was hired to work in the mailroom at dick Clark productions and moved on with my life.... 

I worked my way up to be director of 2 department. Here's I am at 25 years old, 128 pounds, with Dick Clark on my last day before leaving for a position at Image Entertainment.  And Oct 13, 1999 is the last day I ever touched it. 

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Politics. We are all suckers

Hmmm politics are interesting. Republicans bash each other during and after the debate to fight for who will do a better job on the issues and during the democratic debate all the democrats on Facebook do is bash the republicans who aren't at their debate. The biggest victims are the public as a whole because your rights aren't given to you based on the party you support. And furthermore all those politicians care about is their own agenda that they won't ever tell you the truth about. Our entire government is not based on our well being it's about the shift of money that will make which ever party is in control have the ability to give their industries favoritism. That's all. It's local government that actually affects us personally. Anyways, people should get over the stereotypical party bashing because both parties are the same just a different focus to their evil. Ahhh government and capitalism. Ever amusing. 

Monday, October 12, 2015

My chemical cookie.

While trying to recover from my accident I started to notice the chemicals in the foods were affecting my inflammation and mobility but the thing I notice last was simply the most shocking revelation. For years I had suffered from over eating, binge eating which eventually lead to major eating disorders. I have done so much emotional work to get to the root of my problems and tendencies. I did the emotional work for the eating disorders not only for my own well being but in my mind there is no way, should I have children that my child should ever suffer from disordered eating because of me. Emotionally I'm very in tune. I handle myself very well and understand my emotional triggers. I work daily on areas I think I could handle better and am really conscious about everything. Then low and behold I've stumbled on what I believe is at the root of the problem. CHEMICALS. 
When I eat whole natural foods without any chemicals, I have no real food cravings, I am satisfied and emotionally sound.  
Recently I went on a cruise and wrote to them to have my dietary and nutritional needs met. They delivered chemical free natural organic fruit and cold pressed juices to my room every morning. Leafy greens, beans and veggies at my beacon call. At any restaurant I went to on the ship they delivered handmade vegan pasta and fresh steamed veggies for my dinner. I did go to a chefs tasting and had no problem because everything was made fresh and organic plus they told you what was in everything so I could make an educated decision and they didn't use chemicals to enhance the flavors of the foods or to preserve them. 
After the tasting since I didn't have an adverse reaction two days later I decided I wanted a big chocolate chip cookie. I'm on vacation, I can live a little. Normally my treats come from a my kitchen or a responsible vender I trust. This was just your run of the mill cruise ship pastry stop with "store bought" type treats. I got my cookie and was cruising around on my scooter eating it. Within a minute of the first bite thoughts of needing 500 more cookies started to form and then I start listing all the amazing deserts at the buffet and start thinking since I already had this one cookie I need to eat the ship. I have not had these thoughts in almost 2 years. It was like mind control and I was helpless. I found myself at the buffet ready to eat everything in site BUT I didn't. I recognized this wasn't me. What was it that made this fitness enthusiast, non munchie eating medical marijuana patient and seemingly controlled holistic nutritionist to loose her mind and want to binge and purge. 
There seems to be only one explanation, it has to be the way that my brain reacts to the chemicals in the cookie. 
I've been doing a lot of research and I'm not at the point where I can firmly pinpoint the Chemical but many of my findings have produced evidence that "natural flavors" which are listed as such in the ingredients is actually biochemically engineered from human embryo cells to make the brain have a chemical reaction to increase the flavor of what you're eating. 
I'm doing some research and once I can be certain I will share. But this is what I got so far. 

My food delivery each morning on the cruise....

Want vs Need

As I read stories in the news and see the status updates on Facebook, it's apparent that our biggest problem in today's society is that people no longer know the difference between want verses need. 
I recently got into a heated debate over IVF (in vitro fertilization) because my stand point is that we are wasting valuable research money on fertility when having your own biological child is a want not a need. I also think that spending 100's of thousands of dollars in having our own biological Children when clearly there is a reason you can't conceive (DNA, evolution, genetic disease) and we have plenty of orphans is ridiculous but that's not the point I'm trying to make. Once I realized the person I was debating with was pregnant with a child I'm almost certain was conceived through IVF, I decided that stressing out a pregnant women and potentially affecting her fetus wasn't worth me totally pounding her into the ground with my point and leaving her emotionally destroyed. I actually think about others even in a debate.  Plus I would have played dirty and said that if she is eating chemicals while pregnant she's already commiting child abuse, which is a whole other rant for another post. 
Here is my point: There are people and children who are currently alive who have no homes (adoption) and who were born with major birth defects or have had a major accident that has left them incapable of caring for themselves (need). The money spent on fertility (want), obesity (man made disease) and heart disease (man made disease) should be spent on real medical issues (ms, paralyzation, Parkinson's, asthma, blindness, deafness etc) that affect a persons ability to feed themselves or even know who they are or you are half the time and even wipe their own ass let alone get to a bathroom themselves (all needs). These are only simple examples, you can't imagine their hardships. I see these people at physical therapy and doctors offices.   There is no way on earth you can convince me that spending money to figure out how Bob and Bunny can have the child they want, can in any way be compared to the importance in figuring out how to get Bobby born with a paralyzing birth defect
the ability to feed and take care of himself. Anyone who can think they can find a qualifying defense is part of the problem or carrying it in their utterous. I don't begrudge anyone who has partaken in IVF the happiness of having your own child but don't go around acting like infertility is a real problem when it's a luxury problem. I have no issue with people speaking of how heart wrenching it is to not get what you want in terms of ease of getting pregnant or the time it took, miscarriages and all the suffering you went through but please don't act like what you overcame was something you needed to survive because it's simply something you wanted in your life that you couldn't get easily. Have a little more perspective on people with real medical conditions who need to figure out ways daily to accommodate their needs while you complain and struggle with your wants. If we could all take a minute to think first about how many people really suffer and really live a life trying to just cover their needs maybe we can have a little more perspective and tact on how we are handling not getting our wants. 

Side note: Right now I would like to walk full time without a crutch but there is no way I can compare my hardship of being disabled the last 2 1/2 years with anyone who has any of the diseases/conditions I mentioned. I can clearly recognize that I want to be pain free, cure my autonomic neuropathy, turn my neck, walk unassisted and stop the spasms but I can live and survive with a lot of extra effort while others are far worse off than me. 
#crutchlife 

Friday, October 9, 2015

The grass over there is always brown.

Every time I ever have a whoa is me moment during my recovery something is shoved right in my face to make me change my perception.  On my recent cruise, I had gone for two days kinda shuffling slowly unassisted and from that I was sent not back to being with a crutch but to needing the electric scooter to get around.  I had just finished 3 hours of my therapy and was icing on a lounge very bummed that I couldn't go jet skiing, ziplining, rock climbing or basically do anything I live for doing. As I placed a huge bag of ice on my hip and leg the woman next to me give a chuckle from reading her book.  I turned to her and simply asked her " How are you?"  She turned and said "I'm just happy to be on vacation".

She explained that she and her husband had been planning this trip for 10 months and tried to go to a private beach on a tour that they planned only to discover that the entire beach and shoreline was over run by seaweed.  There was really no place to sit or even swim so they sucked up the loss and came back to the ship.  I was sympathetic and said I was sorry it ruined her day.  She told me that nothing could ever ruin her day.  She explained that her 28 year old son had an awful accident when he was 19.  He had received a full college scholarship with many job offers in aerospace engineering after he graduated and they were visiting him at college.  They were all avid skiers and decided to ski for the day.  She described the accident so simply.  He went over a little bump on the side of the run that sent him flying into the air where he eventually landed on his neck.

As the ski patrol was taking him away he told her, "I broke my neck, I know it"

He has been paralyzed from the neck down ever since.  He can lift his forearms up but can not put them back down, and that's the extent of his mobility.  He redesigned their house to accommodate his needs and is very active in the city council but he does need constant help to do everything.  She explained that the most exciting part of their trip was that they would both be able to sleep through the night without having to get up to move his position.  Every night for 9 years with a small vacation here and there, these selfless parents get up to reposition their helpless son as he sleeps.

I hated every minute of the hopelessness I heard in her voice but gave her as much positivity and love as I could find in me to make sure she walked away from our conversation feeling like the everyday selfless hero that she is.

It can always be worse.  Always.  So, why not be happy with what you got.


Thursday, October 8, 2015

We hold the power to our happiness.

With every action causing a reaction. It's very easy to change the outcome of most situations. All it takes is stepping back from ourselves for a moment and observing the world outside our own mind for literally a second. This takes us to a different perception of situations. When I recently rented a car, the line was getting really long and each counter agent was taking forever with every renter. The people in line started to grumble about the agents incompetence with jabs about the ease of job going down the line. 
Being on crutches and having to walk very very slowly, has forced this high energy, I want it now girl, to take advantage of my time. Instead of letting that negative energy, primarily from impatience, feed me to react with the need to rush the uncontrollable and get bothered, I just keenly observed every situation around me. 
One counter agent couldn't find a reservation in the system, while another was having trouble with a Spanish speaking family not understanding what she needed and a third agent was desperately trying to rush the man with a million questions. Every person just trying to get from A to B, not maliciously trying to make people wait in a line or being shitty at their job and not caring. Just trying to get from A to B. 
So I turned to the loudest complainers and said hey, check it out; and pointed out what was going on in each situation with a little funny observation. The positivity and understanding spread like wildfire. The mood changed just like that. 
I commended the counter agents when it was my turn and really had a great experience, renting a car, in a packed terminal at 7:30 am and all because I wanted to.  
I like life a lot better this way. It's a bigger kind of thoughtful. I'm going to keep trying it. 


          

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

I love me but I know I'm weird to you.

Written September 20, 2015 

I'm on "vacation" right now in Florida with my mother. If we're being honest, I'm not actually relaxing at all. I'm spending most of my time doing my physical therapy, icing, soaking and doing everything to combat my swelling. I insisted my mom come with me to spend a few days with me at our house in Boca Raton. I thought it would be fun to create great memories with my mother at a place I have bad memories from when my grandparents lived here. I'm very sentimental and always think to myself "with a little effort Amy, you create a memory to last beyond the people in it". I know one day I won't have my mom so I try to make sure we do things that are special but the problem is that we are so different. I need to keep moving with activities I can do because the second I stop I will usually be out for the count. I can't go walking around a mall or from shop to shop because walking is my hardest task right now. I wish it weren't so.  It's hard to tell people that I have to spend 3 hrs getting myself ready to be able to have 4 hours of action.  People aren't usually with me the entire day so I can give off the perception I'm doing much better than I am. People, including myself, forget that I have disabilities at the moment. It's hard for people to relate to and it's even harder for me to relay.  

J E L L... Hell NO... Don't eat that shit!

I'm not even going to lecture you. Just look up what those ingredients are that make up Jello and decide if that's something you would choose to eat again. Instead of eating poison, here's a little something more delicious that actually has nutritional value for you!!! I introduce you to the fabulous ...
 
Persimmon Gello.... 

Ingredients: Persimmons with a pinch of clove, nutmeg, cinnamon and Vanilla 

Directions: 
Wash and Cut Persimmons 
Place Ingredients in Blender, Food processor, Nutribullet...anything that's Blends and Blend them together 
Pour into refrigerator safe dish and let set or eat immediately. 

Enjoy. 

Thank me later! 

My deodorant dilemma.

To me it's clear as day what a lot of the cause and affects are, that are happening to people.  It makes perfect sense to me that people raised in areas with nuclear testing and high levels of radiation seem to all develop weird forms of cancer. It seems perfectly reasonable to then be curious about the chemicals in deodorants. To me it's more evident than not that a contributing factor to cancer in woman is from us putting deodorant on near our lymph nodes and breasts.  I'm not certain it is the actual cause but it may just create the environment for cancer to grow or maybe it's because I'm not conclusive with facts and stats in hand that I won't confirm the belief 100% but it's the fear in me that puts me in a great dilemma. What's more important, smelling fresh by using chemical filled deodorants that could potentially kill me or smelling of a faint curry BO while using organic deodorants?  I just don't know what do to...

               currently... Curry. 

Being Blunt!

Here's a great Article on why your best friend is your blunt friend!  


This is Me! Most people can't handle the truth of who they are and what they're doing. When you love your entire being, faults and imperfections... You're blunt and life is happier.. Try it! 

Here's me smoking a blunt: 


Monday, October 5, 2015

Gun control and Stuff. 2cents. For what it's worth...

When your man looks at me, I'm the bad girl because of my outfit when the problem is your mans wondering eyes. When someone kills with a gun, the guns are bad guys but the real issues at the root that cause the Violence still exist. Neither actual issue is solved.  We always dance with the problems instead of admitting emotionally and mentally we are failing as a society, let's make real changes to help us emotionally grow. Obesity, sexual deviance and violence are emotional issues. Race and sexuality must finally be excluded because all of it, it's a HUMAN epidemic. #mentalhealth



Thursday, September 24, 2015

Vacation thoughts.

Vacation thoughts: What's everyone who is "high protein diet" fooled going to do when they have osteoporosis later in life because they depleted their bones of calcium? 

Did you know Women only need 46g of protein a day and Men 56g... anything consumed over that the body has to pull calcium from your bones to break down the protein. It's fact. Otherwise you need heavy calcium supplementation based on the amount of protein you eat to offset it.  The more you know.....




Friday, September 18, 2015

Just a quick thought: Marriage, Children and politics

People ask me all the time if I want children and the answer isn't so simple. It's hard for me to want to bring a new life into the world knowing what I know about our government and the world around us. People crying over infertility problems and Gay Marriage as if it's life  or death when it's privledge. If we have no earth left to use and our bodies are being eroded by the chemicals in the food we're eating then what does any of that matter. We've created such a divide and spewing of hate with the parties that nothing gets done but lining politicians pockets on both sides while we destroy the world. Simple solutions screaming at us in the face but all we care about is politics and slamming the parties. Our purpose has gone astray and they've hooked us... Well you... I'm an activist!

Why aren't you?  How can you care about marriage and children when the world is self destructing with cruelty and lies. Why would you pay 60k to fight nature and have a child when that money could adopt 3 children. How can you worry about politicians from any party when you voluntarily eat chemicals in foods and drink diet soft drinks. You care so much about your personal issues but don't care that we are clearly heading in the direction that will make things worse. Your vote may not count like you want it to but your daily actions do. Think about the world you're fighting to bring a child in to or to be married in. These rights mean nothing without a clean vibrant world to live in. 

Articles like this one: 
http://truththeory.com/2013/05/17/hemp-could-free-us-from-oil-prevent-deforestation-cure-cancer-and-its-environmentally-friendly-so-why-is-it-illegal/

This articles shows how hemp could save America and its industries by making our soil more fertile, providing textiles like paper and clothing, natural energy, medication as well as helping with cancer.  The sad reason why it won't happen is simple. It's politicians and capitalism ruling our lives. Specifically the industries that make the government money that would be eliminated. It just doesn't make sense that we focus on the things that go into having a life but really don't care about the things that keep us alive like our foods, soil, air and water. We care more about drilling off shore in Antarctica knowing we don't have the technology to clean a spill under ice than reshaping our economy through progressive means to make the world better for the future generations because that's not where the money is and its doesn't personally touch everyone immediately.
As I ponder on the questions of kids and marriage these are the things that come to my mind and adoption. I can't selfishly think about what I want in my life without thinking about the future of the world and what I can do to make a difference. 

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Dating.

Ever the hopeless romantic in this technology driven dating world. I plenty o fish; said okcupid let's try this out and of course, I'm reigning tinderella.  After being chatted up by a cute musician with vegan tendencies who says he owns a healthy catering company, I get excited. Then he's also a personal Chef!?  Witty convo, mostly on my side cause my mind is just always on. The guy reads ingredient labels, can cook and is into fitness.

Then he starts gushing, "You're so hot and so funny, you're why I stayed on that app, I can't wait to meet you. I want to see you tonight"  I said "Awesome, what time tonight?" He answers "I'll call you in a few."  I text again a friendly "hey you!?"

Doesn't call but texts at 9 he's "at guitar center with band right now, what are you doing?"  I've been waiting to hear a time to hang out since 6 because that's how I am. You're a date. If I agree to a date with you, I make myself available. So, I basically blow it off as a fluke to give him a chance and still talk to the guy. I probably should have just cut it there. My gut said red flag but my mind called me judgemental and petty. Give him a chance. He even acknowledged he messed up.  

Next day he asks me out early in the day and when I ask to elaborate he suggests hot tub to which I say no, I'm looking for an experience with you to get to know you. Since he can't be creative, I plan for us to meet at a fun place for a night of air hockey, ping ping and to be silly, each brining a brown bagged drink like high school.  Mind you, I'm still on crutches. Regardless, I like to create fun experiences. I text I'm on my way, we are suppose to meet at 8 and he calls to say his "session" ran late and oh by the way he can't drive, it's a long story but he can still meet me. Call me crazy but when someone texts earlier saying "they're getting ready, see you there"  You think that means we are on for 8.  

I said that I wanted to cancel. He pleads a weak case but talks of things like holistic nutrition and music that capture my passion. Hopeless romantics bleeding heart.  I agree to go pick him up. He tells me directions to his cross streets. Those streets don't cross. I call for his address and he won't tell me. Tells me to wait at the stop sign he will be right there. My gut is screaming run. After a car comes and I have to pull over and no sign of this dude, I turn around and drive off.  The guy calls and my whimsical usual self is gone. I'm straight and direct. "Dude, if you want to date me get your shit together. Pick a time and a place and be there, this is bullshit". He precedes to text me that's he's thankful I saved him from dealing with a person with no patience. I tell him that he has wasted my time and has no mindfulness for anyone's time and that I have patience for respect and he has showed me none. I wished him well on his ventures. He continued to text that i wasted my own time and I wasn't a nice person. 

What!?  This seems to be the rotation that continually happens to me and other great people I know. How am I not a nice person?  It always seems to be that when you create boundaries for how you want to be treated and what you will allow in your life; people want to drag you across them like you're evil. It's not fair that I sit up tonight thinking, am I not a nice person?  Maybe it's the fact that it bothers me, that it would keep me up that makes me know that I am. I am nice and loving and wonderful when I feel respected. The most valuable thing in my life is time. If I give you my time it means I'm taking it away from something else that is precious to me.  I don't sit around and do nothing in my recovery, I make every minute count because it does. So, maybe the way I articulate the facts of situations rubs people the wrong way, maybe my intolerance for that which I know irritates me makes the people who irritate me think I'm mean but at the end of the day, it's usually the person on the other side of the behavior I call out that goes straight to insulting my person. In my world actions speak louder than words.  I am constantly asked why I'm single and the reason is simple. I am really happy alone and really happy with who I am as a person and I will only commit myself and give of myself to a person who adds more joy to my life than irritation. Someone who knows a little respect and mindfulness goes a long way. I am an experience to be had and you only get it if you come correct.  So, yes, I may get stuck in my head making sure I'm nice and I may go from hot to cold very fast but I know that I treat others with kindness, love and respect and if you don't think highly of me, it's most likely your problem. Not mine.

So my look didn't go to waste 😝